Today it's very muggy and cloudy out. It looks the sky could burst open any minute. With the heat and humidity that would guarantee fierce thundering and lightening. I love storms. A storm is like mother nature having a fight. The stronger the storm the bigger the fight.
The sheer power of lightening can be so frightening. I have seen first hand what lightening can do and it's scary! When I was a kid we had a bolt of lightening come down our chimney and strike out television. It was blinding and deafening a the same time. It happened so quickly it was shocking. It took several minutes for the entire event to register. My ears rang for days from the explosive sound. No one was hurt, but it left a permanent mark on my mind, that's for sure.
I love how is smells and feels after a storm. The wet grass and moldy smell in the air. The cool air that envelopes you, making you feel refreshed. Everything feels clean after a storm. A nice cold shower for the earth to refresh it and spruce it up. The planets and trees seem perky and bright.
A good storm is nice. I h0pe we have one today.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Star fish at the beach...
I've been bad, not posting. I've also been bad, not cleaning. I haven't been in the basement in the last two days. But, I've been to the beach both those days. I need to get the kids out of the house and it was beautiful so I figured it took me 16 years to accumulate the junk, two days off won't kill me. Today it's going to storm so I'll go down again, after I clean the house and go food shopping. The beach yesterday was interesting...
The sea was rough, churning up life from it's bowels that normally aren't seen. Baby star fish struggled as the surf swept them up on the beach. The children thought they had found Patrick, many running to their parents, star fish in hand shouting "Mommy, daddy look I have Patrick!" The poor creatures, just wanting to get back under the rock they came from. Occasionally a larger one appeared and their would be shrieking from the person who felt so lucky to find it.
My daughter was one of the culprits keeping the poor things from their home. She raced to the shore catching sea water in her royal blue sand pail, then carefully sprinkling sand at the bottom and finishing the creation with a single small perfect mussel shell. Then she went on her hunt. Determined to find herself a friend for the day. Within a few minutes she came racing back with a small one no larger than a Clementine orange. It wasn't anything special, just the run of the mill reddish star fish. A few minutes later she came back with two more, gleefully placing them in her bucket announcing she now had three new friends! Her final capture was quiet unusual, he (she insisted it was a he) was bright burnt orange and no larger than a silver dollar. How exciting it was to her and her new found beach friends. They looked in the bucket, occasionally one of them trying to poke them. My daughter would yell at the human intruder and say "leave them alone, you don't get poked at by some big finger in the sky do you?" How carefully she guarded her treasures, proudly showing them to everyone around us. After a while she got bored and decided to leave the bucket in my care, carefully placed in the shade so they would not "boil" in the sun. Then off she went back to the sea. A few minutes later she came back so excited I thought she might explode! Hand behind her back, "Mommy, Mommy, look what I found!" And she quickly pulled her small hand from behind her back and there is was a star fish, but this one was a whopper! It was bigger than her hand, it's arms hanging over, curling up. My daughter started poking at this flaming orange spot on the star fish and I freaked! "Honey, stop poking the poor thing in his eye!" "EEEEEKKKKK," she screamed "that's his eye?" Then she tried to put her eye up to the star fish's eye to see him better. After a few minutes of carefully examining him, I told her she really needed to return him to the sea, so off she ran merrily to carefully place him back in the crashing surf.
Out of no where, a haze swept in like a cool satin blanket. Then the big threatening silver black clouds quickly filled the sky. I told my children we needed to pack up and move out before the storm hit. Panic struck the entire beach. I have never seen so many people pack up the beach gear so fast. With in a minute, it seemed, the bulk of the beach had grabbed their things and started running for the exit. I told my daughter is was time to set her new friends free, without a complaint she carefully walked down to the shore line and placed the bucket in the water, gently tapping it she told the wondrous sea creatures to be free and go home to the moms. We then gathered our things like any normal day and walked back up the beach as it started to rain. Now the tourist were panicking even more, fighting and running to get to their cars. Where were they going to go? It was only raining, not thunder or lightening. What was the big rush? Most of them were still wet from the ocean, so they got a little wetter from the sky?? We slowly walked around the mob and made it back to our car. I put the kids inside just to be safe from the crazy tourist. I carefully packed our things back in the trunk, cooler first, then the chairs, followed by the two bags, one containing towels, the other with the snacks, then the cart, thank goodness for my cart, it made it so much easier trekking back from the beach and it prevented fights over who was going to carry what! Finally, the boogie boards fit in. I closed the trunk, climbed in the car and sat with my children and we watch. Three fender benders and a fight broke out, the cops came to straighten it out. Over a few cars I notice a group of young kids smoking a bong, how brazen they were, right in front of the cops and all the tourist, like they were all alone on an island and no one could see them, apparently everyone, including me, ignored them. Finally I saw our chance to sneak out away from the crazy tourist! While they all went straight, I turned left and quickly made our "secret" escape home, I was local so I knew the back way and off we went home for the day to recover from our glorious day at the beach.
The sea was rough, churning up life from it's bowels that normally aren't seen. Baby star fish struggled as the surf swept them up on the beach. The children thought they had found Patrick, many running to their parents, star fish in hand shouting "Mommy, daddy look I have Patrick!" The poor creatures, just wanting to get back under the rock they came from. Occasionally a larger one appeared and their would be shrieking from the person who felt so lucky to find it.
My daughter was one of the culprits keeping the poor things from their home. She raced to the shore catching sea water in her royal blue sand pail, then carefully sprinkling sand at the bottom and finishing the creation with a single small perfect mussel shell. Then she went on her hunt. Determined to find herself a friend for the day. Within a few minutes she came racing back with a small one no larger than a Clementine orange. It wasn't anything special, just the run of the mill reddish star fish. A few minutes later she came back with two more, gleefully placing them in her bucket announcing she now had three new friends! Her final capture was quiet unusual, he (she insisted it was a he) was bright burnt orange and no larger than a silver dollar. How exciting it was to her and her new found beach friends. They looked in the bucket, occasionally one of them trying to poke them. My daughter would yell at the human intruder and say "leave them alone, you don't get poked at by some big finger in the sky do you?" How carefully she guarded her treasures, proudly showing them to everyone around us. After a while she got bored and decided to leave the bucket in my care, carefully placed in the shade so they would not "boil" in the sun. Then off she went back to the sea. A few minutes later she came back so excited I thought she might explode! Hand behind her back, "Mommy, Mommy, look what I found!" And she quickly pulled her small hand from behind her back and there is was a star fish, but this one was a whopper! It was bigger than her hand, it's arms hanging over, curling up. My daughter started poking at this flaming orange spot on the star fish and I freaked! "Honey, stop poking the poor thing in his eye!" "EEEEEKKKKK," she screamed "that's his eye?" Then she tried to put her eye up to the star fish's eye to see him better. After a few minutes of carefully examining him, I told her she really needed to return him to the sea, so off she ran merrily to carefully place him back in the crashing surf.
Out of no where, a haze swept in like a cool satin blanket. Then the big threatening silver black clouds quickly filled the sky. I told my children we needed to pack up and move out before the storm hit. Panic struck the entire beach. I have never seen so many people pack up the beach gear so fast. With in a minute, it seemed, the bulk of the beach had grabbed their things and started running for the exit. I told my daughter is was time to set her new friends free, without a complaint she carefully walked down to the shore line and placed the bucket in the water, gently tapping it she told the wondrous sea creatures to be free and go home to the moms. We then gathered our things like any normal day and walked back up the beach as it started to rain. Now the tourist were panicking even more, fighting and running to get to their cars. Where were they going to go? It was only raining, not thunder or lightening. What was the big rush? Most of them were still wet from the ocean, so they got a little wetter from the sky?? We slowly walked around the mob and made it back to our car. I put the kids inside just to be safe from the crazy tourist. I carefully packed our things back in the trunk, cooler first, then the chairs, followed by the two bags, one containing towels, the other with the snacks, then the cart, thank goodness for my cart, it made it so much easier trekking back from the beach and it prevented fights over who was going to carry what! Finally, the boogie boards fit in. I closed the trunk, climbed in the car and sat with my children and we watch. Three fender benders and a fight broke out, the cops came to straighten it out. Over a few cars I notice a group of young kids smoking a bong, how brazen they were, right in front of the cops and all the tourist, like they were all alone on an island and no one could see them, apparently everyone, including me, ignored them. Finally I saw our chance to sneak out away from the crazy tourist! While they all went straight, I turned left and quickly made our "secret" escape home, I was local so I knew the back way and off we went home for the day to recover from our glorious day at the beach.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Partly Cloudy
It's so humid this morning, the air is thick and heavy like a down blanket. I don't like days like this, everything feels sticky and damp. It's deceiving, as you look out the window it looks like a wonderful day, but once you open the door it hits you right int he face and back you go indoors again.
Back down I will go today, maybe just for an hour or two. I have a plan in place, one small section at a time. I figure it will take me a full week to get the junk out. Then I'll move on to organizing it. After that I'll move upstairs.
It may sound funny, but it felt so good to see the floor down there. It's empowering, silly as it seems. I'm getting rid of all the dead weight in my life. I have two full weeks to get alot done, after that I'll have only weekends, but if I play my cards right I can have the basement done by then!! I'm so excited!
Back down I will go today, maybe just for an hour or two. I have a plan in place, one small section at a time. I figure it will take me a full week to get the junk out. Then I'll move on to organizing it. After that I'll move upstairs.
It may sound funny, but it felt so good to see the floor down there. It's empowering, silly as it seems. I'm getting rid of all the dead weight in my life. I have two full weeks to get alot done, after that I'll have only weekends, but if I play my cards right I can have the basement done by then!! I'm so excited!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Rainy day...
Rainy days are good days. Most people complain how depressing they are, but I look at them as an opportunity. I was forced to stay in all day and actually got something done! I started cleaning the basement!!!
It was so therapeutic! I only got a small section done, but there is 16 years of junk down there that has never really been cleaned up. Yeah, once or twice we threw a few things out, but never really gone through it. I went through my old college papers, wow what memories! I was actually a person a long time ago that was creative and intelligent! I read a few of the papers I wrote, some were good, some were shitty. I probably could have accomplished more, but it was good. I really feel like I did something worth while. I haven't felt that way in a while. Now I don't feel guilty sitting here goofing off on the computer!
I have had an issue with the mess in the basement for a long time. I once said, if I clean the basement I would feel so much better about myself. Maybe it's true. As I throw out the junk I clean up my soul, something I really need.
Maybe once the clutter is gone, my life won't be such a mess and I can start living again. It will be like lifting the black cloud off me finally. Only time will tell!
It was so therapeutic! I only got a small section done, but there is 16 years of junk down there that has never really been cleaned up. Yeah, once or twice we threw a few things out, but never really gone through it. I went through my old college papers, wow what memories! I was actually a person a long time ago that was creative and intelligent! I read a few of the papers I wrote, some were good, some were shitty. I probably could have accomplished more, but it was good. I really feel like I did something worth while. I haven't felt that way in a while. Now I don't feel guilty sitting here goofing off on the computer!
I have had an issue with the mess in the basement for a long time. I once said, if I clean the basement I would feel so much better about myself. Maybe it's true. As I throw out the junk I clean up my soul, something I really need.
Maybe once the clutter is gone, my life won't be such a mess and I can start living again. It will be like lifting the black cloud off me finally. Only time will tell!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, Monday...
I lay in bed last night with the window open listening to the world around me. I heard a motorcycle scream by and slowly fade into the distance. Then I heard the swish sound all the smaller cars made on the distant highway. But the longer I listened the less I heard the sounds of man and the more I started hearing the sounds of nature. I heard a bird singing a pretty song on and off all night, like it was looking for a lost love. Cats were fighting, maybe over another cat? The crickets played a beautiful symphony all night. I wonder what was the rustling sound was, a mouse, a squirrel, a raccoon? Trees applauded the crickets with each gentle breeze. It was a wondrous event, listening to the night. I wonder what my love hears during the night?
Life is too short, I need to enjoy more and worry less. I need to be happy, but forgot how. I must learn to live again!
Life is too short, I need to enjoy more and worry less. I need to be happy, but forgot how. I must learn to live again!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Where to start?
I have tried to blog several times, but never seem to get very far. Like everything in my life lately, I start and then drift off adding more junk in my closet. I keep planning on cleaning my closet and moving on, but something always stops me. That something is FEAR. I am so afraid to live life that I am missing out on life. Here I sit, safe and secure inside my house pretending to live. What kind of example am I making for my children? They too live their lives safely inside the house. That's not what I want them to do. I need to get up and start living so my children don't end up like me. Lonely, lost and depressed. Existing not living. The last year has been strange for us, but that's no excuse. I need to lean how to live life again.
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